The Next Longest Night

We left the hospital at 9:00 last night. I was in the shower at 9:20 when Jarrad opened the curtain and handed me the phone. I knew that there was only one phone call that couldn't wait until I was dry. I ended up hearing straight from the doctor. He said they had just finished doing their "round" on Seven when they moved on and then heard the alarms going off. They came back in the room to find Seven's heart rate at 49. His heart rate should be above 80. Seven was still breathing but they lightly "bagged" him, and his heart rate went up. They weren't sure why this had happened. He had been struggling with an unusually large amount of secretions and maybe it became too much for him to deal with. The doctor informed me he didn't want to take the chance of Seven's heart rate dropping like that again so he was going to reintibate. Jarrad and I were disappointed to say the least. The most discouraging part was that we didn't expect this and didn't know why. We decided to go back to the hospital. On our way back, the nurse called and said they were heading over to radiology to get a CT scan of his head. The doctor wanted to make sure there wasn't an acute problem that caused this. Jarrad and I arrived just before the start of the CT. Seven's heart rate was still lingering in the sixties, low seventies when we got there. I was so nervous. What else could they do if he kept dropping his heart rate again? And isn't it just like me to ask? I did. If it dropped below 50 again, the nurse would have to do chest compressions. Jarrad and I held our breath for a few hours after that. In a very sad way we just stared at the numbers on the monitor. We watched the heart rate slowly dance around the fifties and sixties. Up and down. Up and down. The doctor came around and talked to us during a quiet time in the pod. The CT didn't show any sign of trouble that could have instigated Seven's episode. It compared very similarly to a previous MRI Seven had. The CT gave us no answers. The doctor was just as flabbergasted at why Seven just went sideways on us as we were. He was just acting in a fashion that no one could predict. The only place we could look for answers was the brain and we planned an MRI for the next day or so. Jarrad and I, over time, realized Seven was stabilizing a bit. Jarrad lied down for some sleep on the sofa in the room and I tried to curl up in the horribly uncomfortable chair in the corner. I ended up in a small sitting room between two ICU pods in the early hours of the morning sprawled across a chair with Jarrad's hat over my eyes. I vaguely remember someone closing some blinds in one of the windows for me. I didn't end up getting much sleep. I remember waking up from a dream so similar to reality I wasn't sure which was which for a while. The day didn't provide much excitement or answers, both fortunately and unfortunately. Seven's heart rate raised to fairly normal levels and his blood pressure lowered to completely normal levels. All of his electrolyte levels and blood levels were perfect. Due to the excess secretions we decided it was prudent to swab the throat to search for virus. It wouldn't provide any change to his care no matter what the outcome. I think I would sigh a little just knowing my seeing "sickness" in his eyes had a reason. I rest a little easy tonight knowing he is stable for now, but ultimately I just want my family all home together. Jarrad and I are used to hospital stays and random medical issues and that makes things a little easier for us. But I have now realized that it only buys us a buffer of time and we have reached our limit. I now feel just as sad and scared as all the other first timers. I'm ready to return to normalcy. I wish Seven was, too.